Mike Paulus

There is a lot to say about a person’s ego; it is something that defines who they are. The way in which people use or don’t use their ego is a central force in who they will become and what they strive to be. Ego is a powerful part of the mindset. With our ego’s we strive to see ourselves at our highest level of self-worth. It is in using ego that  people can do good and help to make our community better. It is ego that drives our utilitarian need; our need to achieve happiness.

Ego is a powerful tool that can be used to achieve great things. This is not to say that our ego is necessarily good. Bad things have many times come from cocky people, see beer bongs. As we all know, ego has harsh consequences when mis-used. Most major wars can be seen as a battle of ego, the battle to win, to be the best. To be a celebrity you need to be good, good at something. Really, just be good at one thing. It is through ego that we show the world what we are capable of. Volunteering is great for the community, it saves the taxpayers millions of dollars. It is hard to think that ego is probably the essential reason why someone would volunteer. Volunteering makes a person feel good about themselves, little Chatty Kathy picked up trash all day at the beach, makes her feel warm and tingly inside. It is in doing good that we can feed our ego. It is being recognized for doing good that we stoke the metaphorical fire that is our ego.

If people in this country had a bit more pride we would be number one in education instead of obesity rates. Instead our country floats somewhere around fifteenth in the world in reading, math, and science. Ego drives us to be the best, to strive to be something recognized. If our brightest students out of school were becoming teachers, having pride in our future and our ability to be the best, our next generation would help progress our country to a level that very few could compete with. It is the apathetic nature of the individuals in our country that limits progression. We are a nation of individuals, we currently do not have the ability for change. Throughout the entirety of our day we think as the self, this is the ego. As a nation we need to start thinking how the ego of self can reach proportions raising the status of our people.  By working to become the best we can be; we will collectively raise the standard for which our nation holds it’s values. Getting straight A’s in school means nothing unless you can apply that to the real world. When we slack or settle, we are unable to raise the standards of our self-worth. It is through the drive of the individual ego that we can progress as a society.

It’s hard to be entirely happy. It is difficult to feel like your life is perfect. My life is good now, actually great, but not the perfection I’d hope for. I can’t remember the last time I woke up in the morning refreshed, happy and ready to take on the day. It’s been too long, F that noise. The idea of happiness has lingered lately. It seems I am hearing the same thing from everyone, they are also missing something. Friends don’t fix loneliness, they just point out why you are lonely. I think it is time to work on finding a girl, less specifically a girl, but more specifically I want a girl who I can actually connect with. Our apartment is a sausage fest at the mome, three dudes and a dude dog. It’s like an episode of Two and a Half Men, except none of us are womanizing ass’, except maybe the dog. I blame Peter for always bring his man only entourage with him. Me and the roommies recently talked about how hard it is to just say no to girls. I have no interest in hooking-up with a girl who I am not serious about; easier said than done. Once you stop for a month it seems that you can get over the hump and continue to wait it out; but who wants to be the ‘Sexless Inn-Keeper.’ It’s a lose-lose, but at this place its more of a win-lose. Alcohol and women are a bad combination at this school. I love to generalize, so it just seems that the majority of the girls lack the depth that I am used to. “all smiles one minute, and dancin’ a temper tantrum the next” to quote the late Dick Proenneke. I think what he was trying to say is that the women he knows are Bat-Shit Crazy.

I have seen and met women all over the world; that isn’t a statement of dick size, but rather a statement of fact. There are no women that I have intentionally avoided much like these North Park girls. I have started to lose hope and am wondering where a person goes in this city to find an honest and realistic girl that is single and not a lesbian. I think it may be time for me an Jon to head down to DePaul and find some nice girls. I hear Columbia has it going on too, bunch of indie chicks and gay dudes at that school. No competition from the men and the women have that nice Seattle style that I have grown to love. Even the cool girls at North Park I have little interest in. The cool girls are often the more godly girls, the girls that stand no chance in a relationship with Agnostic me. I need a way to deter those good christian girls. It seems people make the most assumptions about who I am based on the stickers on my laptop. Many times now girls have mentioned how they thought I was Canadian because of the sticker that says “maple leaf for life.” Ew gross, me a Canadian? I’m just representing Seattle and our coffee. What I need on my computer next should probably be something like the Star of David. I have the curls, people would assume I was Jewish. It would work perfectly for my wants, deter the girls who just aren’t right for me, and attract me some kosher girls. I have many theories about kosher women, most of which should not be spoken of due to their awesome nature. Hell, if people thought I was Jewish, I would be the balls in this neighborhood. Head to java every morning and get me a bagel and shmear. I figure the jewish girls at North Park are probably on the same page as the higher than normal percentage of crazy ones. Regardless of if I meet someone I like or not, odds are I will probably have to play those classic pre-anything games. You know the ones where the guy has to make every move. They call it playing hard to get, but in reality it’s like a knife in the foot. Let’s use that metaphor to describe relationships now. Would you date a girl if it required getting shanked in the foot, I think not. That is how I feel about playing games in order to get to know a girl. Getting stabbed in the foot is a pain in the… Foot. I have never gotten into a relationship that had games from the start. Maybe it’s because the women who aren’t playing games and are honest get my respect. I can’t date a girl who I don’t respect, it’s just natural. We Flemish Italian kids hold ourselves and the people we associate with in high regards. It takes time to be besties with a Paulus. My high standards and more than cocky nature make it difficult to find the right woman, I guess that’s why I tend to duck out before it gets too serious. I just see myself as realistic, I don’t want to have a relationship that I look back on and regret the girl who I was dating. I need ultimates, the girls I have dated I still hold plenty of respect for, the circumstances of the relationship are what end it. I am just not the type who is going to settle with having someone. Now the worry of becoming a ‘Sexless Inn-Keeper’ is kicking in, but it seems this is probably the healthiest resolution for my personal and social lives.

Here is some of the music we are into here at The Hardwood. These are artists, songs, and albums that are constantly on our stereo.

Empire of the Sun

We start with Australia’s latest hit export band, making its way through the states. A sound not unlike that of MGMT, Empire of the Sun keeps it fresh with a much more mystical sensation. The music is complimented greatly by their highly dramatized music videos. The album keeps an eclectic style with a different emotion for every song. Try watching “We are the People” or “Walking on a Dream.”

Empire of The Sun

Owl City
Beats like the Postal Service, Lyrics like Death Cab and a cadence and style of Relient K’s Matt Thiessen. This is clearly the right formula, because owl city has nailed it. The only downside is the variety of song. Owl City’s songs have a tendancy to be repetitive and very similar on the new album Ocean Eyes. I recommend looking at earlier work, which seems to have a sound that reminds the listener of the jubilance of childhood. Songs to listen to are “Hello Seattle,” “West Coast Friendship” and “On the Wing.” A sound that is like the West Coast coming from the Midwest.

The Postal Service (Remixes)
Although it may not be new, the Postal Service re-does have an unmistakable sound. Find some black lights, some buddies, and a bowl and experience the best thing since Laser Floyd. With all this green love, it is easy to say that these remixes are timeless, and are only enhanced on vinyl. Listen to “The District Sleeps Alone Tonight (DJ Downfall Remix)” and “Such Great Heights (John Tejada Remix).” Make sure the popcorn is already popped when you press play, having to start that during these tracks would be a shame.

“Como Un Lobo“
What has often been called “The Greatest Song of All Time,” “Como Un Lobo” by Miguel Bosé, is making its way back on our playlists and personalized cell phone ring tones. When the world was devastated in 2007 when Miguel Bose lost at the Video Music Awards for Latin album of the year, the love for the album’s hit song did not falter. This feel good Spanish pop song can be loved by Spanish and English speakers alike. And you guessed it, it’s another Spanish hit song about stalking someone “Like a Wolf.”

I should have some more music for y’all soon. Check back in if you know whats up, and feel free to drop your opinion.  Peace

So it’s the night after Christmas well, the night of Christmas, but the next day. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am without my usual sleeping aid. You see, I have had insomnia since I was in elementary school. I had recently figured out a good way to help with that but being home has left me dry. The only other depressant that I know is alcohol. Alcohol makes me sleep, eventually. The fact that I am still not sleepy is making me wonder how I am going to get a decent amount of sleep tonight. Twelve shots later here I am. I mean, I am in no way a light weight, so twelve shots is a pretty mild sedative for me now. Instead of being in bed, I have beer goggles and an urge to express myself. I feel like Ray Charles, my hearing has improved as my vision has become faulty. I can hear my 7-Up and vodka spritzing away and it is loud. According to WebMD, I suffer from primary insomnia due to my sleep problem being singular and not associated with another problem. Yes, I am fascinated with WebMD’ing my symptoms. This is not because I am a hypochondriac, but instead I feel that I want the reassurance that I can doctor myself. Sip, that 7-Up is good. let’s see, what else does the MD tell me about myself. Apparently my chronic insomnia means that I am fucked in the head, we have depression and stress as the two main causes. Shit,  I don’t have either of those, maybe the free doctors at my school can figure out why I roll around in bed for hours. And people, don’t assume you can solve these problems. Fuck, I have no idea where this comes from. I must say I am a pretty happy and stress free person for the most part. Maybe it’s all the Pot. Then again, when I don’t have that I am chain-smoking and stressed out of my mind. This vacation has really put it on me. Five dogs and five people in my tiny ass house is way too much to handle. I think when I am back I should see how my sleep patterns actually are. In Chicago I am chill and stress free for the most part. Even though it seems that my life is constantly shrouded in a cloud of drama it has yet to really get to me. Well, drama comes with the North Park name. Those Christian school kids is crazy son. Oh wait, I am becoming one, totally just got admitted. I like the school though, just shake a counselors hand and you are accepted. But it’s not like they wouldn’t accept me anyways, I realized while filling out my apps that I am pretty much a poster child of North Park by accident. I swear to god I did that community service cause I had to. Ok, just realized there is much more information on WebMD about my non-sleepiness. Crap, I want to share a quote with you, “Avoid using your bed for anything other than sleep or sex.” Occasionally I jump on my bed, that may be the outlier that is keeping me awake. Ha, I hope certain people aren’t reading this. If it is my sisters Lauren, yes you, or Devan, yes you, it’s not like they don’t already know. I have noticed that penis is the best way to insult a North Park girl. They just don’t understand that sex is a normal part of human behavior. Ask any of the seniors, they are the people who have survived the christian school bubble and have come out normal and outstanding people. It’s the freshman and sophomore you have to look out for. Promiscuity is very questionable to those people. They have no idea how to deal with that stuff at all. It tends to end with finger-pointing and anger. Damn you beer bongs for making that kid a slut. Anyhow, I think it is probably best that I finish my drink and continue to watch television while I continue to not feel tired. Latas on the Man-J yall. Sincerely, Me

Just a quick post, I have a bunch of articles I am working on now. Also, some new media to be posted in a sec. Expect more soon.

Just decided to do some photoshopping on the cross-country photos, this is what happened

It's like a western when you're stranded in the desert

Listen here to West Coast by Coconut Records

I just got a sweet new desktop for my laptop. Seattle skyline from the international district to the north. The coolest thing is that I can point out my dad’s office in the picture. I am so ready for some west coast loving. I have two weeks to hit Seattle and Portland, and then another week for LA, SF and Tijuana to help my sister and Pako move into their new place. I just keep building up the west coast, I am seriously home-sick. This is cool, I know I am. When you’ve been gone for more than a year you just get used to being a bit homesick. I just want to be in my cities, do all those thing I can’t do here. It surprises me how similar cities are but how its the little differences you notice. Chicago dogs are nothing like any hot dog I’ve had before. I despise these hot dogs, they are a trying too hard hot dog. Seriously, who puts onions, ketchup, mustard, relish, and a strip of pickle on a damn hot dog. Who does that as the standard. I feel that a hot dog is one of the closest things a person keeps dear to them. The way you have a hot dog is a reflection of your childhood and how you were raised. People in Chicago, well at least Chicago’s hot dog industry were probably born in dysfunctional families. It’s not like the people in this city have much worth to say. It’s almost a pain in the ass walking through Seattle sometimes cause we nod at everyone we walk past in Seattle. If you don’t give a nod, a smile or a hey, then you are probably a Seattle jackass. Chicago(ins) or whatever they are just dont say “hey” like they do on the west coast. Even in LA you can give someone a nod or a hey and its socially acceptable. The west coast is just rocking on the niceness. I really want some time in Portland though, It has something like the most breweries and the most distilleries in any city in the US. That is fan-fucking-awesome. Sounds like a city set up like a Costco, always something new to sample. I have thought about applying at one of the breweries around here. I am really enjoying this time free of worry, no work, and hardly any school. It is new for me, the first time without a job while in college. I am not procrastinating like I thought I would and I am actually getting everything done. One more week and I can get me some west coast lovin’. Not sure all the things I should make sure to see, any ideas?

Listen here to West Coast by Coconut Records

The fucking dog tore up my favorite dress shoes. I am seriously pissed, those shoes actually meant something to me. I hitched-hiked from coast to coast in those shoes. I probably hiked 15 miles of that trip in those dress shoes. I looked so out-of-place on the side of the highway. I was always wearing a button up, and sometimes a tie. It’s the best way to reassure them that you are not some axe wielding hitch hiker. Instead they pick me up cause I look like a Mormon missionary lookin’ to spread the good word while wearing a 50 lb. pack on my back. It worked though, I mean why wouldn’t someone want to pick me up? I may as well tuxed up for this event. Next time I hitchhike cross-country I will make sure to wear one of my finest tux’s.  That is what I generally dislike about winter, there are much fewer opportunities to wear a tux than in the summer. Living the Ritz is always nice. Well not always,  living in a shitty apartment is kind of comforting. When we have a light-up snowman living on our mantel year-round, how can it not be cozy. Very eclectic, it seems the most logical way to describe the apartment. Our useless crap seems to serve a purpose here. When you spend less than 10 dollars to furnish and decorate a dining room and a living room it is going to be a bit eclectic. It is soon to be full of a myriad of hipster/stoners, my favorite kind of stoner. I feel they bring a certain degree of conversation that just isn’t reached in a normal friend. It’s usually a discussion that involves taking a step back and really thinking about the possibilities. Stoners really get a bad rap. I think that will be changing in the US very shortly. That would be amusing to go to the gas station to buy a pack of J’s to smoke. They would have to come in a pack, cause who wants to smoke just one J? I think they should move Amsterdam somewhere more fun. Mexico can be the new Amsterdam, they just legalized Mota (buddha). Its one step forward in winning the war on drugs, hopefully legalizing ends some of the chaos on the border. I mean if I can rent my own beach house for a grand a month in Tijuana, I am really gonna want it to be a bit safer. No need to get knifed when I buy myself a pack of J’s.

I have found a detailed description and blue print for making a kallydescope bong. Aparently, this bong puts a kallydescope in front of your eyes while you smoke out of it so you get a show when you smoke. When you pull the slide on the bong the kallydescope turns off.

That is what I happened to find in my journal the next morning.